I just want to feel included, you know?

You know, the weekly team happy hour on Wednesdays has really been getting me down lately. It’s just another reminder that I’m not fully part of the group.

Every Wednesday after work, the team gets together at this local bar down the street. It’s supposed to be a fun way to unwind and bond over a few drinks before heading home. But for me, it’s become this constant source of anxiety and exclusion.

It usually starts with an announcement in the team chat on Tuesday: “Happy hour tomorrow at O’Malley’s, who’s coming?” And then a flurry of responses – everyone eagerly chiming in, making plans to meet up.

But once again, I’m never directly invited. It’s like there’s an invisible line drawn, and I’m just not on the right side of it. I can see the messages, I know the happy hour is happening, but the invitation is never extended to me.

I’ve tried to casually mention it a few times, like “Oh that sounds fun, I might swing by later.” But the response is always lukewarm, if I get one at all. The conversation moves on quickly, leaving me feeling awkward and unwanted.

Then on Wednesday, I have to watch everyone gather by the elevators, laughing and chatting, before heading out together. I usually just stay at my desk, pretending to be busy with work. But inside, I’m feeling more and more isolated, left out of this shared experience.

Sometimes I’ll even leave the office early on Wednesdays, just to avoid having to witness the team heading off to happy hour without me. It’s become this weekly ritual of exclusion that’s really starting to wear on me.

I wish someone would just reach out and say “Hey, you should join us tonight!” It would make such a difference. But instead, it’s this ongoing, subtle message that I’m not fully part of the team. I just want to feel included, you know?